I am living with the fact that there is a hovering sense of emptiness. sorrow. sadness. hollowness.
The question of why bother? What difference does it make if I get out of bed? I feel like my limbs are frozen in fear. The feeling that I must sleep because that option is the only one I have.
I read something from thebloggess.com and she talked about how depression lies. I hate being lied to. I hate that my mind/body/soul are fighting a battle against a liar.
How do you win when it is your own body you are fighting?
I am doing my best to take it second by second. If I look too far forward, panic hits. I want to be better.
That is why I will do my best not to be scared. To fight back with everything I have.